Up Early - off to see my girl

Get to see my girl today!  I am so excited.  She may or may not bring the new roomies.  I am thinking she may not and she might just lay on the couch at her grandmas and do NOTHING...and doing/helping her do laundry doesn't seem like such a chore today - HA, how things change when they move away...

The battle with the addiction was strong yesterday.  When I am alone in the house I find it the hardest to battle.  I want to eat everything...I have read on a few blogs that making the statement that I won't eat alone for anything but main meals (I work from home, I can't NOT eat alone all the time) helps many of you...I am going to make that vow - that my eating has to be a public thing if I am snacking...my meals are really good, my snacking and the wine is really bad.

Anyone know of any good books that talk about food addiction?

Scale up. Ugh!

Addiction to food as you all know is hard and we need to each face it. I am going to stare it in the eyes and say no more!!!  After hearing my band flipped I have been on a little bit of a food binge, testing things and the scale showed it this morning!!!!  I am such the self sabotager. Oy vey!!!
Today is a new day. Yesterday is history. So onwards and downwards :).

missed a day

busy work day yesterday...all day in the bay...good day, just busy.

Not much to say - a little discouraged about my flipper...

Flipped

Yep, it flipped, yay me - NOT.

Had an appt with the doc today, my port has flipped - have to go in on September 12 to get it fixed...she is also going to do the fill while she is in there.

the office staff asked what i did - i said um, cirque du soleil tryout :-)  Seriously, how the "f" do i know how it happened.

Anyway, doc is way cool about it all, she was going to try to get me in to fix it tomorrow - of course i need to do blood work and have a day of soft foods before the surgery so that just wasn't going to happen.

So to say the least I am bummed.

But the best part is that I am down 30 pounds total - woo hoo!!!  So at least there was a good part of the appointment.

The Closed Door

And the door remains closed.  She isn't in there and I haven't opened it yet.  Today I will open the door, wash the sheets, straighten up(I think she left clothes in her hamper) and maybe leave it open...but I miss her.  Her posts on FB and Instragram are showing a girl very much loving her first days of college. I am super happy for her...but my own sadness is starting to sink in.  UGH. I am feeling old. I have a college student. Where did the time go?

I did post some pics yesterday - I see some changes - not bad, IMHO :-)

I am feeling a little annoyed with the hubby... he hasn't really remarked on the changes ... go figure. I feel he is waiting for me to fail just like every other "diet". I wonder how many have gone through this journey and have changed more than just their body but changed those around them too...seems like that baggage may be something to work through.  Thoughts?

Blogging every day for the rest of August

Time to get focused!
Today marks a new chapter for us.  Just took our darling daughter to college over the weekend and we are now adjusting to life with just three of us under one roof.  Our son isn't quite so sure about the extra attention he is getting but I am sure it will all normalize soon. I am not so sure of the closed door to her room and the fact she won't be opening and closing it every morning and I won't hear that door creak...I am super excited for her and this new chapter BUT I am feeling a little melancholy this morning.

So need to channel this energy - I need to get focused on me again.

Been spending too much time eating out, drinking, and enjoying the last bits of summer and my daughter and the excuses that come with all of that to fall off the wagon.  No more falling off the wagon - time to buckle down and get back on track.

I find that when I blog, when I read blogs I stay much more focused.  So I am going to work on blogging for the rest of the month of August, every day, even if I don't have anything much to say...

Here is what else I am going to do:
1 - Really monitor my protein - my hair is falling out...but my nails are the strongest they have ever been - go figure.
2 - Get back to doing my protein shakes regularly.
3 - Take a walk in the evenings...it is crazy hot these days but a walk later in the evening will do us all good.
4 - Post pictures of my progress.  It is time.
5 - Blog for the rest of August
6 - Focus on healthy food!

Happy day everyone - make it great.